Sometimes I just feel so invisible. No one really knows me. I guess this is my fault, my natural shyness. Still, at the times I do want to reach out and be understood and to ask for guidance or support, I don't really find what I am looking for. I go in hoping that this person can understand me and really feel for me, but he/she doesn't, and can I really blame him/her? He/she already has things to care about: his/her life, his/ her friends; so why bother with someone else? It's hard even for me to start really caring for someone who is seeking help. I'm always so worked up over my own life that it's difficult. Even when I feel like giving myself to others, I can never really make a commitment to anyone. I may be able to help with trifling things that are only temporary, and who knows how far one action can go, but I really can't take the effort to understand a person's struggle. Generally, I'm pretty selfish. It is much easier to say "you'll be okay" or some other generic expression than to really help. Sometimes I wish I wasn't this way, but I can't really help it. It is probably irrational to hope for someone else to come and comfort me. I put less faith in others to comfort me and I have to deal with struggle myself.
There are those who do care about me, but to them I also somewhat invisible. There guidance, though it can help me, has been at times geared toward an end result, a destination which they want me to reach. There are definitely expectations placed on me, and though these expectations can be good, for some reason the fact that they are expected of me irritates me. They see their expectations, not me.
There are times when I feel that I do not know myself, a self-invisibility. I cannot articulate my feelings or know where I am going in life. Sometimes I feel I am being pulled in all different kinds of directions, my soul being torn, each side wanting the entire me. Knowing not which way to go, to whom to listen, or what to do.
So, as I said at first, no one really knows me; but then again, can anyone really know someone else? We live as separate humans with separate minds. Essentially, we are isolated from each other. It may seem that we are in a "group" when we are "with" other people, but does physical proximity mean we are "together"? Aren't you still the same physical person if you are with people or not? Merely one out of many.
There are those who do care about me, but to them I also somewhat invisible. There guidance, though it can help me, has been at times geared toward an end result, a destination which they want me to reach. There are definitely expectations placed on me, and though these expectations can be good, for some reason the fact that they are expected of me irritates me. They see their expectations, not me.
There are times when I feel that I do not know myself, a self-invisibility. I cannot articulate my feelings or know where I am going in life. Sometimes I feel I am being pulled in all different kinds of directions, my soul being torn, each side wanting the entire me. Knowing not which way to go, to whom to listen, or what to do.
So, as I said at first, no one really knows me; but then again, can anyone really know someone else? We live as separate humans with separate minds. Essentially, we are isolated from each other. It may seem that we are in a "group" when we are "with" other people, but does physical proximity mean we are "together"? Aren't you still the same physical person if you are with people or not? Merely one out of many.
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